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How to Deal With the Fears That Hold You Back From Happiness

4 Mins read

Fear is an emotion that most of us experience in this lifetime. However, some of us live in a more heightened state of fear, and sometimes it can rule our lives. Of course, I’m not talking about instinctive fear that our organism provides in dangerous situations. In this case, it serves for our protection. 

The fear I speak of would be one in which it rules your life and makes happiness tough to achieve. But how do you deal and eventually overcome this heightened state of fear that rules your life?

Dealing with your fear is by far an easy process, and it requires an open mind and a specific strength of character. But it is not an impossible mission – it’s mostly about your perspective and changing your belief system.

Therefore, in today’s post, we’re presenting how to deal with the fears that hold you back from happiness.

1. Accept and Observe Your Fear

Fear is an unpleasant emotion which we wish never to feel if possible, yet sometimes we do, and sometimes it can even rule our life. But that’s ok.

Life isn’t perfect. It’s a beautiful experience that comes with both positive and negative experiences. The positive ones are here to enjoy life at its fullest and the negative ones to learn as much as we possibly can.

Therefore, instead of denying your fear or letting it take the best of you, accept it for what it is – a simple part of your life, not your enemy. First, allow yourself to feel afraid – denying it won’t extinguish its existence. Accept that you are feeling fearful. Next, take your time and whenever you notice that you are afraid of something, observe the processes your mind is going through.

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2. Understand Why You’re Experiencing this Emotion

If you started to accept and observe your fear, you’d have to try your best to understand the root of your fear. I am aware that dealing with your fears isn’t an easy or pleasant process, but understanding your fears is a crucial aspect of overcoming them and assuring that they will never trouble you again.

Therefore, be patient with yourself, and while you observe your behavior and your thoughts while you’re afraid, try to understand something out of it. Perhaps it will be easier to keep a journal to keep track of your emotions, thoughts, and progress. Through journaling, you’ll be able to notice some patterns if you’re consistent.

“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself.” – Susan Sontag

3. Try to Be in Control of Your Fear Not the Other Way Around

Fear has the power to take control of your life. When you live in fear, all the decisions you’ll make will be fear-based. In other words, fear chains your freedom. But how do you control fear? I don’t believe that there is a practical method to control the fear that will work 100% for everyone who tries it. But some techniques will come in extremely handy.

I like to say it’s not an emotion but rather a state of mind. Based on this premise, to control your fear means to change your mindset and belief system. For example, fearful people believe they are weak, or they tend to have this perspective of themselves of not being good enough. But if you start thinking that you are stronger than that and keep acting accordingly, you will eventually become stronger, and fear won’t stand a chance against you.

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4. Perceive Fear From Another Point of View

Fear can help you and tear you apart, depending on your point of view. Generally speaking, fear is considered something you should hide from other people so they won’t pity you – as if it is wrong to feel afraid.

Well, it is not wrong to feel afraid. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel like – we are not living in a bubble where everything is perfect. Fear is part of our life, and you can decide how you welcome it in your life.

Will you let the fear you’re experiencing to tear your life apart or will you take it as a challenge to help you become a stronger and wiser person?

5. Fear Is a Learned Behavior

One crucial aspect you should know regarding fear is that it is a learned behavior. We aren’t born afraid. Most of us grow up having our parent’s fears because when we’re young, we copy our parent’s behavior – without being able to decide for ourselves if it’s a good thing to learn or not.

For instance, the fear of dogs is born from one or more bad experiences we had with an aggressive dog. It happened because we associate dogs with pain, and, naturally, our body wants to avoid pain. Therefore, the way you were able to learn to be afraid of certain aspects, you are perfectly able to unlearn them and overcome your fears.

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela


Living in fear is not how we should experience our existence on this beautiful planet. We are powerful creatures who come across difficult situations throughout their lifetime. How you manage to overcome every obstacle and learn from that experience is you’ll evolve and become a stronger version of yourself.

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Fear is a powerful emotion, so a person who manages to overcome his fears, with or without professional help, will become stronger than he could ever imagine. For that reason, take fear as a friend who comes to help you become a better and stronger version of yourself.

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